When Surrender Feels Risky But Leads to Freedom

When Surrender Feels Risky But Leads to Freedom

As I’ve reflected on our recent trip to Pennsylvania and Washington, DC, I’ve realized it wasn’t just a getaway. It was a quiet lesson in something I’m still learning after all these years: surrender.

For most of my life, I’ve approached things as a planner. I like structure. I like knowing what to expect. There’s a sense of safety in having things mapped out. But if I’m honest, that desire to plan has often been tied to something deeper, a desire to avoid disappointment.

Avoiding Pain

When you’ve experienced rejection or things not turning out the way you hoped, that makes sense. You start to believe that if you can just manage things better next time, maybe you can avoid the pain. So you hold tighter, plan more carefully, or try to stay one step ahead. I’ve lived there.

Something Changed

This trip disrupted that pattern. Although it had been planned nearly a year in advance, just two months before we were to leave, it appeared everything might unravel. My husband needed surgery, and others in our group faced health challenges just days before departure. The familiar thought surfaced: “It’s probably not going to work out.” That quiet expectation of disappointment is something many who have experienced rejection carry without even realizing it. But this time, we chose a different posture. We prayed, we waited, and we released the outcome.

Slowly, things began to shift. The surgery was rescheduled. Healing came. Strength returned. What seemed uncertain became possible.

True Freedom

Yet the most meaningful part wasn’t that the trip happened. It was how we experienced it. We let go of tightly structured plans. Each day, we sought the Lord’s direction, and followed it. The result was something I didn’t expect: Freedom.

Not just physical freedom from a schedule, but internal freedom; freedom from the need to control, to anticipate, to brace for disappointment.

In that space, I began to see something more clearly: Holding tightly to outcomes doesn’t actually protect our hearts. It restricts them.

Surrender

Surrender, on the other hand, creates room for trust and peace, room for God to move in ways we might not have chosen but ultimately need.

For those who carry the weight of rejection or unmet expectations, surrender can feel risky. It can feel like setting yourself up to be hurt again.

Healing

But what if it’s the very thing that leads to healing?

What if surrender isn’t the loss of control but the beginning of true trust? And what if trust is where freedom has been waiting all along?

Final Thoughts

So I leave you with this: Where might you be holding tightly because you’re afraid of being disappointed again? And what might it look like to gently loosen your grip and trust God there?

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