What I Thought Was \"It,\" Wasn't

What I Thought Was "It," Wasn't

Have you ever been so sure about something, only to realize later you were wrong? Not just slightly off but completely mistaken about what you thought God was doing?

I have.

There was a time in my life when I truly believed I had reached the answer I had been waiting for. Having never married, I found myself in a relationship that, in my heart, felt like this is it.

I thought we were moving toward marriage.

I thought we were on the same page. Until one day, something happened that made me realize we weren’t.

His expectations were not the same as mine. And as much as it hurt, I knew what I needed to do. I ended the relationship. It wasn’t easy, but there was a clarity in that decision; a sense that, even in the pain, I had done the right thing.

For a while, I held onto that peace, until months later I picked up the phone, and we started seeing each other again.

When You Know Better but Go Back Anyway

Looking back now, I can say honestly that was one of the worst decisions I could have made. Not because I didn’t care, but because I knew. I knew it wasn’t right the first time. Going back didn’t bring clarity. It brought more confusion and disappointment; more of that quiet, unsettling feeling that I was holding onto something that wasn’t meant for me.

And if I’m honest, I don’t believe God was leading me back into that. I think I just gave in.

Maybe you’ve done that, too, gone back to something you already knew wasn’t right, hoping it would be different this time. You were hoping maybe you were wrong the first time but, instead, it only deepened the hurt.

The Moment Everything Became Clear

There came a point where I realized something I couldn’t ignore: If I didn’t let go, I would never be open to what God actually had for me. Letting go felt like closing a door on something I still wanted, but at that stage of my life, I had quietly started to believe that maybe marriage just wasn’t part of my story, that maybe that dream had passed.

So I let go not fully understanding what would come next, but knowing I couldn’t stay where I was.

What God Did Next, I Never Could Have Planned

What I didn’t know then was how close I was to something completely different and better. Only a few months later, God brought someone into my life who has been more than I could have ever imagined. He's not just a husband but a man who is loving, supportive, and steady in ways I didn’t even know to ask for.

God didn’t stop there. I had once prayed a simple, heartfelt prayer that if I were to marry, I would be given the gift of grandchildren, and God answered that prayer. He then went far beyond it.

Today, we have four great-grandchildren. I’ve had the joy of being present in their lives in ways I never expected: holding them, feeding them, watching them grow into little people I love deeply.

When they leave after a visit, the house feels quiet again but it’s the kind of quiet that reminds me just how full life has been.

What I Couldn’t See Then, I See Now

Looking back, I can say this with certainty: What I thought was “it,” wasn’t. And if I had held onto it, if I had refused to let go, I might have missed what God had planned all along.

Not because God was withholding something from me, but because He was preparing something better.

Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 3:5-6 to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not lean on our own understanding.

At the time, I didn’t understand, but God did.

And 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us that He comforts us in our struggles so that we can comfort others.

That means even the parts of our story where we:

• got it wrong

• went back when we shouldn’t have

• held on longer than we needed to

…are not wasted.

For the One Who Is Still Holding On

Maybe you’re in a place right now where something hasn’t turned out the way you hoped. Maybe you’re holding onto something because letting go feels too final. Or maybe you’ve already let go and you’re wondering what could possibly come next.

I want to gently tell you this: God sees what you cannot see. What feels like an ending may actually be His way of making room for something you never would have imagined. Not always quickly. or easily, but faithfully.

A Final Thought

Your story is not over. Even the parts you wish you could rewrite may be the very places God uses to bring hope; not just to you, but to someone else.

You’re not starting over. You’re being led forward.

Prayer

Lord, sometimes it is difficult to let go of something we desperately want. Help each one of us let go of the things that in our hearts we know are not for us, and give us the ability to trust that You know what is best for each one of us. In Jesus' name, amen.

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